


Coming Out Before Sunrise

by cursed_lawboy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Drunken Confessions, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Rating for Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursed_lawboy/pseuds/cursed_lawboy
Summary: Dean and Cas are walking back to the motel in the middle of the night. In his drunken state, Dean decides this is the perfect moment to open up to Cas about his feelings for men. Implied Destiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Coming Out Before Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I was struck with the sudden urge to write a fic, which is something that I haven't done for… 7 years?? I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

"I get so emotional when I drink and I'm sorry, Cas", Dean mumbles.

Dean and Cas are walking side by side in almost complete darkness. Their night at the bar had ended rather abruptly when they noticed that Sam had left with the car, and they had no way of getting back to the motel other than making their way along the seemingly endless stretch of road by foot.

"I always find it really hard to talk about my feelings and I don't even know _why_. Cas, I know–" Dean stops himself to let out a humourless laugh. "I know you might think I don't actually experience as many emotions as other people or something, but it's more that I don't know how to express them properly."

Dean lifts up a shaking hand to go through his hair, slightly pulling on the strands on the way back down. He can't believe he is doing this. Right now, at 2AM, walking with Cas in the middle of fucking nowhere. But the alcohol buzzing in his brain is making this surprisingly easy.

Dean stumbles and Cas quickly throws out his arm to stop him from falling. His hand still resting on Dean's shoulder, they stop walking and stare at each other for a couple of seconds.

"Are you okay?", Cas asks, his face lit only by the moonlight.

As usual, the alcohol at the bar had not affected Cas at all. He must think Dean is fucking insane for behaving like this because of a bit of ethanol.

Dean breathes in sharply. "Yeah. I'm okay. Anyways." He shakes his head slightly and closes his eyes to break the eye contact. He feels the cold air on his shoulder again as Cas removes his hand. They continue walking in silence until Dean gets up the courage to speak again.

"I guess what I was really trying to say is that there are some things that I still can't accept about myself", he blurts out. "And I've felt this way for a long time. And until now I didn't think I would ever talk about it and yet–" He rolls his eyes. "Here I am!" He stares at Cas from the side with a pained smile.

"Dean," Cas says, with a serious look on his face. "I just want you to know that you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to–"

Dean lifts up a finger as a signal for him to stop talking. "No. I have to do this. And you have to know this is a huge step for me. I always see everyone around me so happy being themselves. And it _hurts_ me because I know that I have this huge thing that I've been carrying in me for all these years…"

His voice trails off and he is embarrassed to feel tears forming in his eyes. Fixing his eyes on the distant lights of the next town, he takes a shaky breath.

He chooses his next words very carefully. With a shaking voice he states, "I can fall in love with men the same way I fall in love with women. I mean, I can see myself in a relationship with a man or, hell, even marrying one and raising kids with him."

The relief of finally saying it out loud washes over Dean. He sobs quietly and rubs away the tears from his eyes. He looks over to Cas, who is going through a number of undecipherable facial expressions, but ultimately settling on worry.

"Dean…" he says quietly, turning his head to the side. "I want you to know that I'm okay with you being bisexual. If that's what you want to call yourself. And I think everyone else is as well."

"I know!" Dean exclaims, kicking a small rock away into the darkness. "That's why it's so _stupid_ that I just can't accept it myself!". He buries his face into his hands. He feels like laughing and crying and screaming all at the same time.

Cas reaches over and pats his back awkwardly. "If there's anything I can do for you…?", he asks carefully.

Dean raises his head and shakes it. "Nah man. I need to figure this one out for myself." He straightens up and looks over to Cas. "But thank you. Seriously, thank you for being there for me. I really needed to say that."

They share a tentative smile before turning their heads to look at their destination again. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of Dean's chest, and he has a newly found spring in his step. "Now the question is whether we'll actually make it back to the motel before sunrise", he laughs cautiously.

"I still can't believe Sam just took the car and left", Cas replies.

"That son of a bitch." Dean shakes his head. "Guess he didn't think both our phones would be dead by the end of the night. But it's okay." Dean hesitates. "I'm really glad we had this conversation."


End file.
